past and present...

i met up with a certain someone this evening...even though she hurt me in the past, i couldn't help but remember the good times we had...i remembered how she made me smile and feel good about myself...then as always, i remember the pain...i remember how hurt i was that evening she betrayed me...and how she along with her "partner" laughed at me...i know that people change every day...and even at times, it only take a few moments for someone to be chastised...but i am still uncertain about her...all i could do this evening was contemplate my future...at least once a year, i am given a new path in life, and whether or not i take it is entirely up to me...this new path leads to fame and fortune, the hard part is getting there...i am very capable of doing such things...but again, i have a problem...a very big problem...alcohol...again, i have embraced the substance...and again i have fallen into it's grasp...i have friends that are willing to help me get through that road...but i have to give up a lot of things...one of them being that dreaded substance...i am a slave to alcohol...it is my only release from the constant pain i feel...i need to train harder...that's what they expect of me...they want me to be the best, and if i train, i will be...i am very capable of that goal...i have to get through this...